A young Irish girl goes to confession and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
The priest replies, “Go ahead, my child.”
“Well”, she says, “Last night I made love to me boyfriend… FIVE TIMES!
and it was GLORIOUS, Father. He made me tingle all over, and I swear it was as though I was seein’ the stars in my passion.
And, I think I may have wailed like a banshee. More than once.
And me legs was all wibbly wobbly, even the next mornin’.
But, I know that makin’ love to me boyfriend before marriage is a sin, and I’ve come seekin’ absolution.
The priest sits back, rubs his forehead, and looks at the young lass and says, “Right.
What I need for you to do is go down to Mr. O’Malley’s market and get four good sized lemons.
Go home, cut them in half, and squeeze the juice into a nice tall glass and drink in down straight away.”
The girl looks at the priest with a confused look and asks, “ Will that absolve me of me sin, Father?”
“NO, but it’ll wipe the smile off yer face!”